14 May 2008

Heng Tai's and Chi Mui's

I recently attended a friend's wedding and was roped in to be one of his "Heng Tai's". Whats that you say? Well... literally its a suckers job... The Heng Tai's (There were 8 of us) are supposed to support our fellow marrying brother to get him into the bride's house and into her arms so that she can be whisked away to be married. Who's gonna stop us rite? Well... the "chi mui's" for one and there was also a little faux pas with the little virgin boy who was supposed to open the door for the Groom to get out of the wedding car. No virgin boy opening door... no come out my friend! :)

This traditional banter or more of a tug of war or even more apt - the Fear Factor challenge has to be undertaken by the heng tais for the benefit of the Groom. Where else can you find 8 fellas willing to go through Fear Factor challenges for you man!!

You wanna know what we had to do? Well... the day started really early! Up and about by 7 plus cos we had to get to the house by 8 a.m. Of course it didn't help that we went home only at 2 plus am the night before drinking and of course (refer to previous post) - gambling! hahaha... :)

Once there we were feted to a dim sum breakfast (paid for by the fellas who lost but bought by the winner! ) and then we were all bleary eyed (not wide eyed yet - that would come later) and ready to go!!

Once we reached there, we realised the Groom could not get out of the Porsche 997 he came in because "little virgin boy" (henceforth known as LVB) was no where to be seen! No LVB no get out my friends. So in the car he sat for a while before LVB rode up in his SUV (dad driving of course) and rescued the Groom in Distress!

No having done that, the games were about to begin! First up some light banter and then challenge no.1 was up. Wasabi Sandwiches. Everyone had one! To be fair they were all bite sized only (yippedidooda!) Took my piece found it surprisingly good (Now I was wide eyed!!) found that some of the heng tais had shirked away from their duty of eating it though. There were 3 pieces left. Damn it!! Who didn't eat it! I dunno why I did it but what the heck, some stupid (probably drunk) part of my brain said just do it! Pick the plate up and eat it! So I did! It was fine but the bread was dry so I took a drink... and CHOKED!!! cos it went down the wrong passageway! Arrrggghhh... I choked for the cause Ian!! U better appreciate it!

Next was the drinking challenge. Blended bittergourd was the flavour of the drink and thick and lumpy was the way to go. Thankfully I was still busy choking on wasabi sandwiches so I got to skip that! Phew... I hate bittergourd!! The heng tai's finished that in no time! Bring it on Chi Muis!!

Up next was the eating challenge again! Eggs with Red HOT Chillis and Wasabi was the way to go. Everyone MUST have a taste! I remember mine... no eggs only chillis. So wat did I do? I asked for more!!! YEAH!! WHO THE MAN!! - er.. ME! in case you didn't know! :) I was actually asking for more eggs but what the heck... I got a bit more eggs and a whole lot more chillis and wasabi. Thanks to the Chi Mui known as Kim! I will remember u!

Having done that, the Chi Muis decided to "ease up" on us and let us have 2 drinks. One Sweet THick Honey (mmm..... good!) and the other sour lemon/lime (mmm... good too!! ) :P That was easy peasy!

Now we were through the main door. Only the bedroom door to go!! This is where the "fun" began! What do hairy ppl fear the most? WAXING!!! and all the heng tais got a wax job. Heck I even asked them for more cos the job was uneven! Heh heh... Proof that I did it? Here you go:-

so smooth!

After the waxing... well some had no hair so no problem. One did his belly button area! OUCH! :P It was time for the next challenge. One Heng tai was selected to hang 2 apples around his crotch area (YEs I know... eeewww....) and the guys had to each take a bite of the apples hanging there (double eeewwww....). I pray that the fella didn't get a hard on cos it would be really worrisome!! heh heh

With that out of the way, the final hurdle was price negotiating. Chi Mui's wanted red packets as payment for entry into the room. So I was in charge of negotiation! AND I think the guys did quite well here thanks to some savvy negotiation (thank you thank you!) We were in and the groom had finally found his bride! YAY!!!

All that was left was the destruction of pride and growling of wasabi stomachs. Hope we made a good impression on the chi muis! :P All in all, we did wat we had to do to secure our buddy his bride! You deserve it buddy!!

CONGRATULATIONS IAN and JOANNE! May your life together as husband and wife be very productive and fruitful and joyous one filled with LOVE, LAUGHTER and HAPPINESS FOREVER!

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