31 December 2008


Its the last day of the year... Time to reflect on your life so far.. time to prepare for the next year ahead!

I think this year has so far been good to me... :) Not much complaints (as opposed to complaining all the time! hahaha ) Of course it can ALWAYS be better right??

Lets see, what has happened this year? well...Ah well, as said in my previous post... a number of my buddies got married this year. Congrats guys n girls... Its my 2nd year in my own firm... so far so good :) Am seeing someone now... which is really good! :P

Went for paintball at Tanamera (which was great!), white water rafting and rope course (Fun but damned tiring!) hmm... is that all i did last year? seemed like more... better go check the photo albums to see if i missed out on anything...

Saw Man United lift the Champions League and English Premier League Throphy! :)

The bad for this year is that I lost an Aunt (Tua Ee... I hope you are well up there! Look out for us down here k? :) ) Miss you already! sigh... Lost a friend too... (Thina... hope u r doing good too up there... )

I am looking forward to next year though... It always seems to have lots of possiblities! I guess thats a good thing isn't it? Always look on the bright side of things! dum... di dum di dum di dum di dum! :P

My thoughts are a bit fragmented now... but I would like to just say to all my friends and family out there. My life wouldn't be as great as it is without you guys. One way or another you have made me who I am today! Love you all! May we have many many more years to come together!

SEE YA 2008! HELLO 2009!


oh btw... my new year resolution is to lose weight... sigh... BUT i LOVE to eat... how?? :(

26 December 2008

Busy Busy Busy

I know its been some time since I've updated my blog but circumstances dictated that I did not have time to do it (some others call this circumstances lazyness... but I disagree!) :)

Anyhow, the thing I have been busy doing is attending weddings and helping out at weddings and er.. attending weddings :)

LEt me just say that my friends LOVE to have weddings away from Ipoh! hahaha... But if it wasn't for their weddings at their respective out of town places... I may never have been there! :)

First we had Clarence and Suet Ling at the Andaman Langkawi! Beautiful Wedding... great looking beach with white sandy beaches (unfortunately cannot really swim cos a lot of rocks!). Congrats Clarence n Suet Ling aka Moi! hahaha... U 2 make a lovely couple and your theme was so apt... "FINALLY!" hahahah...

Then this was followed by Wei Han n Gaik in KL at the Maison? I can't remember the name but the place was beautiful! Great place to have a wedding party guys! U 2 looked good! From what I hear the later part of the party was even better! hahhaha... Shhh... I will not tell the world what u did Wei Han!! :) Congratulations to you 2 lovely people!

This was quickly followed by my Brother Gavin Tang and Evelyn's wedding in Ipoh and a week later in Kuching! This was the hectic one as I had been tasked to deliver his Best man speech... which I finally got it ALL done on the day of the wedding dinner at 4pm. Sorry lar bro.. dunno wat to say lar... u had me on such a tight leash on what I could and could not say... :P I think the dinner went well... It was new to see you cry (while sober I mean!) Hahahahaa :)

Then Kuching came along... All I thought I was supposed to do there was eat, drink, sleep and be merry... see see kena con into doing the co-emcee job and then kena con by co-emcee until i was emcee only! hahaha... I am such an easily conned fella lar... :) Kuching was great...for Kolo Mee! *Burp* "Kolo Mee...Cham Ang... Ai Kiaw" Wonder if that is right? hahahha... oh well... Still it was a nice wedding in Kuching... would have been better if I didn't have to do any work! heh heh :)
Congrats Gavin n Evelyn... U 2 make a lovely couple!

SO thats the travelogue so far... In between there were trips to KL for work and play :) a few malang car problems... stupid engine won't start after I got back from Kuching... bye bye RM1800... sigh... Then when I got back and sent my car for repainting of teh bonnet... byebye RM300 and then some fool knocked into the spare car n got it all dented at the back (luckily the fool had to pay for it...drunk at 2.2opm man!! on a Friday!) and then I went and scratched the car I just repainted the bonnet...on the side doors... 3 panels and repainting...sigh.,.. byebye RM500 again.... Fuck man...damn kau bad luck!

I need to go mandi bunga liao... now to search for 7 different types of bunga....

I will post up pics of my trips soon... :P

Oh yeah before I forget...


14 October 2008

Of Sharks and Lawyers

I contributed this article originally for the Putik Lada column in Star but was asked to write another different one so I submitted this article to our own Perak Bar Blogspot and it was put up there some time last week :)

So I'll reproduce here for those who wanna read it as well :)

“Q : Why did the shark not eat the lawyer when his boat sank in the ocean?

A : Professional Courtesy”

There are many more jokes of that nature to be found everywhere. So the question is, why would one still want to be a lawyer? Especially in this day and age. Is it because it is an easy path? Does it pay really well? Maybe they just like to be the brunt of a multitude of jokes out there? Who knows? I cannot say for certain why others read law but I know why I did.

I would like to say that I was inspired by the likes of Clarence Darrow or Abraham Lincoln but that would be lie! And as George Washington said when he cut down the cherry tree, “I cannot tell a lie!” (Not really in this case – but I digress…) I would say that television played a greater part in influencing me rather than the great lawyers out there.

I was first influenced by my father who gave up teaching and turned to law. Much of what I knew about law and lawyers came from television. So much so, I read law in the Thames Valley University (TVU) – TV University? Get it?

I remember watching movies such as Ally McBeal, The Practice and a number of other “lawyer” movies thinking that these people had it great! Cool cars and lots of money to boot! Wow… this is the life for me.

So I found myself on the path of becoming a lawyer, reading law, getting myself a law degree and then found myself chambering (doing my pupilage) at a reknowned law firm in Ipoh and finally found myself in practice on my own.

Did the path lead to riches and cool cars as promised? Not really… but in becoming a practicing lawyer I have come to realise something that I have never known before but it is something I feel that one should know about way before thinking of taking up this profession. A small word, seven letters in all but with a whole lot of implications and responsibilities. JUSTICE.

Now what do I mean by this? This may sound a bit na├»ve or aloof; but I believe that lawyers are the last line of defence against tyranny. As Edmund Burke once said, “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing” and I truly believe that lawyers are good men and women. They have been trained to do good, to uphold justice; to make sure that each and everyone gets his day in court. Of course many other factors are needed to contribute to ensuring a just society.

Having said that; to me, the most important thing to ensure that justice is upheld or preserved is the man itself. As lawyers, we are trained to assist the courts in interpreting the law. Whilst we are advocating our client’s rights and case we must be aware that we are first officers of the court. Our loyalties should lie with the law first, the courts second and then only the client. You would notice however that the lawyers themselves are not even mentioned in the top 3! I know that most of the people who think of lawyers associate us with Sharks and other things which I will not repeat here but that view may not be entirely true (There are always bad apples in any basket!)

For me, in order for someone to take up this profession they must bear in mind that as in everything we do, hard work is essential. Reading and keeping ourselves updated on the law is a requirement. A passion for law and justice should be a pre-requisite. It’s not easy if we want to be a good lawyer.

We lawyers (some of us anyway) are probably the only ones in this world that has set up a Legal Aid centre entirely funded by the lawyers themselves. We pay a yearly subscription towards this fund to help underprivileged and deprived people who cannot afford to engage lawyers on their own and we help them advocate their case in court. Of course there are criteria which have to be met before we can help but at the end of the day the lawyers through the Bar Council has set up such centres throughout the country to assist the public in their woes for FREE!

There are also some lawyers out there who have been remanded, jailed and fined for upholding their client’s rights. Giving up their own liberty to ensure that others may have theirs!

In recent times, we have seen the Bar Council take up issues which affect the public in general such as the independence of the Judiciary as in the case of the Tun Salleh Abas fiasco. The lawyers marched for judicial independence then and recently the Bar council stand has been proven to be the right one. An independent judiciary is the cornerstone of any successful legal system and democratic country.

The Bar council again walked for Justice after the V.K.Lingam recordings were made public, asking for a Royal Commission to be set up to investigate the recordings and the allegations therein contained in the video recordings. The lawyers wore full court attire (jackets and ties) and walked in the sun and the rain for almost 5 kilometres to Putrajaya to hand over the memorandum to the Prime Minister’s office.

So its not always about the money and the cool cars (having it doesn’t hurt of course!) but at the end of the day its about justice and how as lawyers we are there to ensure it is available to all. So before anyone seeks to venture into this profession, make sure you are willing and able to contribute positively towards the profession and to the people. If you cannot, then this path may not be the right one for you; for it is not always paved in gold but mostly in pain and heartbreak in the pursuit of justice.

As Martin Luther King once said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere”

I truly believe that lawyers can and will pursue justice wherever they may be. I still do!

Are we still the sharks that we are thought out to be? You decide…

Submitted by Kenny Lai Choe Ken

Forum on Blogging and Defamation

For those who are interested... The KL Bar Committee has organised something useful for all bloggers out there... :) Those who can should!

To all,

The Information Technology Committee of KL Bar is organising a Forum. Below are the important info:-

Title : Forum on Blogging & Defamation Laws

Date : 23rd October 2008
Day : Thursday
Time : 6 pm to 8 pm (But may stretch to 830pm)
Location : Bar Council Auditorium.
Entrance : Free


1. Jeff Ooi (Member of Parliament and Blogger)
2. Foong Cheng Leong (Advocate & Solicitor and Blogger)
3. Nizam Bashir (Advocate & Solicitor and Blogger)

The Forum is open to the public. Feel free to attend. Should you have any enquiry, and
wish to book a place to sit, please contact KLBC's Executive Officer, Ms Melissa at melissa@klbar.org.my or at 603-2693 3585

08 October 2008

Weddings and such...

These coming months are gonna be busy for me... LOts of weddings to attend and be involved in... unfortunate (or fortunately??) none of them are my own.

3 of my best buds are getting married and I am estatic for them! Congrats Clarence, Gavin and Wei Han! I know you have found the best and the most suitable women out there for yourselves! :)

One wedding is in Langkawi, the other in Ipoh and Sarawak and the final one in KL. So will be travelling a lot the coming months.

On top of all that am organising the Perak Bar Annual Dinner... why did I fix the dates so close together? Why? Why? Why? AAArrrrrggghhhh.....

Print invite, tickets, posters and sell them... oh selling the tix are a pain!! A real pain! come on lar... just buy the darn tickets without giving so much crap... not that expensive lar.. only RM100 for a dinner with one of a kind entertainment (Mano Maniam in his one of a kind stand up routine). Shouldn't be that difficult to sell rite? WRONG!! Oh btw, free flow of beer on top of that! Still cannot sell?? Why lar... once a year only! sheesh... and people wonder why no one wants to volunteer for the posts of committee members of the Perak Bar.

Oh and one other thing.. I'm poor now... no money! Please send money to me! PLEASE!! hahahhaa

I think I have to start charging clients a whole lot more for the crap they make me go through for them. Hmm... lets say a minimum 50% increase... ? yeah...sounds about rite! :P

09 September 2008

Getting Old-er

Today is the eve of my 32nd Birthday.... Yes... I'm turning 32... (Damn it!). I don't feel that old but I have been recently looking back on my own personal achievements or lack thereof. I've come to the conclusion that whilst some people have made their millions by the time the turn 25 I am far from it... really far... really really far... you get what I am trying to say...

However, I think (I hope) that I have made all the richer with the friends that I have met along the way and to some extent even the foes (though I don't remember to ever holding any grudge against anyone). I think they are ones who give me my colour (its yellow as in chinky yellow by the way :) ) and my background.

I don't think I am one to dwell on unhappiness and I believe I have a cheery disposition (though in recent times I've seen myself to be a bit grumpy... probably due to old age! :) )

I would like to just say that I'm glad to have you guys as my friends. I thank you for your putting up with me. I'm grateful that you have stuck with me through thick and thin (though I think I am always the thick and never the thin despite my efforts!! :)) Hahaha...

And so... I offer you my toast! To great friends and wonderful companions! Salute!

15 August 2008

Rest in Peace Tua Ee

Its been a real bad 30 days for me... My aunt just passed away... It was all so sudden... Mum's devastated and frankly so am I. No one expected this... She was fine the last time my mum saw her which was 2 days before she passed away. Suddenly... sigh...

Life is just too short. We never know what is gonna happen tomorrow. I think I need to live for today. If we see something we want just get it. If we want to do something, just do it. If you see someone you like just go for it! Life is just too damn short to wait on. It'll just pass you by and before you really know it... its gone.

I will miss her presence at our regular Pangkor CNY excursions. She was always full of fun and laughter. To Uncle Paul, Kenneth, Douglas and Vincent... my deepest condolences.

I miss her already... Rest in Peace Tua Ee...

23 July 2008

Sombre weekend...

The Perak-Penang Bar Games were held in Ipoh this past weekend. I was the organising chairman of the games this time round... It was supposed to be a fun time with meeting friends and having games and drinking non stop... but something happened which threw everything awry.

Whilst we were playing futsal, a friend collapsed face first unto the court... I did all I could... One of the Penang girls and I performed CPR to try to revive him but it was not to be... He was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital.

I just can't believe it... Its surreal... All I know is that his demise is a tragic loss to the bar and to his friends. He was by all accounts a penultimate gentleman and a great sportsman. A great friend and a wonderful family man...

We will miss him...

Rest In Peace Thina...

17 June 2008

Pain(t)ball?! @ Tanamera

I was in KL over the weekend for Father's day and the day before that I found myself in Tanamera Paintball Park in Sungai Buloh getting shot at from all angles!

Let me recap on my day there... It all started bright and early that Saturday morning... as usual I slept late and woke up early (Football Euro Cup on mar... :) ). I thought to myslef this is gonna be a great day!! Breakfast at Burker King (mmmm... good!!! ) and then Paintball with my friends for the day!

Got myself to Sungai Buloh Jejantas Rest stop at 8.30am... hurried myself to the newspaper stand - eh! Not open yet! nevermind... BK here I come!! walked all the way in towards the restaurant passed KFC... slowed down.. cos it was getting darker and the lights dimmer... eh why lar?? and when i reached i saw the sign on the door... operating hours 9.00a.m - 11.00pm. WHAT?!?! KNNCCB!! I thought it was 24 hours? FARK!!! DIU!!! oklor... KFC i went... had the breakfast set... nothing to talk abt...

Nevermind... the day will get better... my friends will be coming for paintball... :P

When everyone came... by everyone i meant 2 other lawyers and 2 other Engineers (I know.. SO MANY RITE?!) I found out some p**sy fellas all never come liao... (hahaha... yes u Ricky boy!)

So anyway, It was off we go to the land of pain(t)ball! YAY!! Took us another 20 mins or so to get to where it was. Damn far wei... got ourselves signed in (i.e. signed our life away) and paid for it too! :P got our marker and face mask. I decided to be brave (cheap) and not get the body armour. I have ERS (Energy Rebound System) on me already - its called fat!! No need the armour! and we were ready to go!! Raring to go more like it! YEAH!! Lets shoot some ppl!
THEN I saw my opponents... full camouflage gear, body kit, custom markers which looked DAMN KAU NICE and good! Extra pellets casing, walkie talkies AND ear pieces. I thought to myself... die lor... WHAT have I got myself into?? Can I get a refund??? Please??? pretty please?
Then it was off we go!! First up.. Viet Cong! Last man Standing man!!! Shoot to kill!! Yeah! pfft.. pfft.. pfft... (x10) at the guy in the tree nearby. Who turns and sees me and pfft! This is what happened -

One bloody shot from the guy and I have a head shot. The game lasted me all of 30 seconds! Woohoo!! yeah... i know... 30 secs???

Suffice to say it got better... I lasted abt 2 mins the next time! and then longer and longer. The secret? Don't be a hero lar... not with the rental marker. Sure die wan! :) An eg. of the markers and in comparison with custom markers...
The Rental Marker and mask

Lynn's "Ed" marker

All in all, I had a great time... Played Paintball from 10 to about 5pm... It was awesome! Lynn, Seira, Leesh... when is the next one!! I wanna play again!!! Oh and btw.. it cost me only RM85 and i didn't even finish the pellets!

27 May 2008

IF - Rudyard Kipling

I was browsing through some web pages and a particular line caught my eye - "which is more- you'll be a Man my son" and I remembered a placard - you know those inspirational ones- with messages on them that my Dad gave me when I went overseas to read Law. I remember that he wrote a part of this poem on the back and I thought then as well as now that it is a truly inspirational poem. So here you go...

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

14 May 2008

Heng Tai's and Chi Mui's

I recently attended a friend's wedding and was roped in to be one of his "Heng Tai's". Whats that you say? Well... literally its a suckers job... The Heng Tai's (There were 8 of us) are supposed to support our fellow marrying brother to get him into the bride's house and into her arms so that she can be whisked away to be married. Who's gonna stop us rite? Well... the "chi mui's" for one and there was also a little faux pas with the little virgin boy who was supposed to open the door for the Groom to get out of the wedding car. No virgin boy opening door... no come out my friend! :)

This traditional banter or more of a tug of war or even more apt - the Fear Factor challenge has to be undertaken by the heng tais for the benefit of the Groom. Where else can you find 8 fellas willing to go through Fear Factor challenges for you man!!

You wanna know what we had to do? Well... the day started really early! Up and about by 7 plus cos we had to get to the house by 8 a.m. Of course it didn't help that we went home only at 2 plus am the night before drinking and of course (refer to previous post) - gambling! hahaha... :)

Once there we were feted to a dim sum breakfast (paid for by the fellas who lost but bought by the winner! ) and then we were all bleary eyed (not wide eyed yet - that would come later) and ready to go!!

Once we reached there, we realised the Groom could not get out of the Porsche 997 he came in because "little virgin boy" (henceforth known as LVB) was no where to be seen! No LVB no get out my friends. So in the car he sat for a while before LVB rode up in his SUV (dad driving of course) and rescued the Groom in Distress!

No having done that, the games were about to begin! First up some light banter and then challenge no.1 was up. Wasabi Sandwiches. Everyone had one! To be fair they were all bite sized only (yippedidooda!) Took my piece found it surprisingly good (Now I was wide eyed!!) found that some of the heng tais had shirked away from their duty of eating it though. There were 3 pieces left. Damn it!! Who didn't eat it! I dunno why I did it but what the heck, some stupid (probably drunk) part of my brain said just do it! Pick the plate up and eat it! So I did! It was fine but the bread was dry so I took a drink... and CHOKED!!! cos it went down the wrong passageway! Arrrggghhh... I choked for the cause Ian!! U better appreciate it!

Next was the drinking challenge. Blended bittergourd was the flavour of the drink and thick and lumpy was the way to go. Thankfully I was still busy choking on wasabi sandwiches so I got to skip that! Phew... I hate bittergourd!! The heng tai's finished that in no time! Bring it on Chi Muis!!

Up next was the eating challenge again! Eggs with Red HOT Chillis and Wasabi was the way to go. Everyone MUST have a taste! I remember mine... no eggs only chillis. So wat did I do? I asked for more!!! YEAH!! WHO THE MAN!! - er.. ME! in case you didn't know! :) I was actually asking for more eggs but what the heck... I got a bit more eggs and a whole lot more chillis and wasabi. Thanks to the Chi Mui known as Kim! I will remember u!

Having done that, the Chi Muis decided to "ease up" on us and let us have 2 drinks. One Sweet THick Honey (mmm..... good!) and the other sour lemon/lime (mmm... good too!! ) :P That was easy peasy!

Now we were through the main door. Only the bedroom door to go!! This is where the "fun" began! What do hairy ppl fear the most? WAXING!!! and all the heng tais got a wax job. Heck I even asked them for more cos the job was uneven! Heh heh... Proof that I did it? Here you go:-

so smooth!

After the waxing... well some had no hair so no problem. One did his belly button area! OUCH! :P It was time for the next challenge. One Heng tai was selected to hang 2 apples around his crotch area (YEs I know... eeewww....) and the guys had to each take a bite of the apples hanging there (double eeewwww....). I pray that the fella didn't get a hard on cos it would be really worrisome!! heh heh

With that out of the way, the final hurdle was price negotiating. Chi Mui's wanted red packets as payment for entry into the room. So I was in charge of negotiation! AND I think the guys did quite well here thanks to some savvy negotiation (thank you thank you!) We were in and the groom had finally found his bride! YAY!!!

All that was left was the destruction of pride and growling of wasabi stomachs. Hope we made a good impression on the chi muis! :P All in all, we did wat we had to do to secure our buddy his bride! You deserve it buddy!!

CONGRATULATIONS IAN and JOANNE! May your life together as husband and wife be very productive and fruitful and joyous one filled with LOVE, LAUGHTER and HAPPINESS FOREVER!

08 May 2008

I'm a poker addict!

"Hi! My name is Ken and I am a poker addict"

"Hi Ken, welcome to Poker's Anonymous" would be the chorus of voices I hear in reply...

Ok... that would be the case IF there was a Poker's Anonymous AND IF I was really a poker addict (Still in denial!!).

By Poker here I mean the most popular game in recent times - Texas Hold-Em Poker. Its like the most exciting game out there rite now. Made popular of course in movies like "Rounders" and more recently in James Bond and the new series "Tilt".
Best starting hand in Texas Hold Em poker game

It has to be immensely popular if there is a world Series of Poker. Now on a side note, when you hear the words "world series" you would know for a fact that its an american thing and most likely 90% of the players would be Americans and no one else in the world is so excited about it nor do they play it. E.g. World Series Baseball, World Series Football (American Football and not the beautiful game of "soccer" - p.s. When u use your hands to throw a ball it CANNOT be called FOOTball!!!)

However, when it comes to Texas Hold Em poker... it is the exception rather than the general rule. Everyone plays it now or at elast knows how to do so. :) and fortunately or unfortunately I know how to play and I enjoy it too! (Damn! The chinaman gambler in me comes to fore!!)

The purpose of this post? Nothing much except to issue a warning to my fellow poker players (who recently took my money!) I'll be back to get my money... just you wait!! hahahhaa... now you've heard it here first! Gambler Ken is gunning for you.

Maybe I should change the blog's name to Gambler Ken Lai instead of Dragon... hmmm... food for thought!? :P

Probably it should have been,

"Hi, My name is Ken and I am a gambling addict!"...

sigh... what can I do? Its in my blood... I'm chinese... We LOVE gambling! rite? :P

02 May 2008

She Walks in Beauty

Recently I have been re-reading some of my poetry from my college days and I have sort of have this poem stuck in my head for a while now... I have always thought it to be strangely captivating... tells of perfection I believe...

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

~ Lord George Gordon Byron

24 April 2008

The Dating Game... and its idiosyncracies!


updates are in green

I have been thinking about this topic for a while now and was wondering if what I thought was true or just my own perception of things...

The premise for this topic is of course the dating game... Game you say? Well.. Yes it is my dear Watson (ala Sherlock Holmes :) )

I was telling anyone who would listen (not that many really... heh heh) that the guys are on the short end of the stick when it comes to the dating game. Why you say? Well... the answer is yet again so simple (in my small fickle mind anyway). Its because the guy has to do the "chasing" or in more romantic/lovey dovey way of saying it... the guy has to "woo" the girl.

So what is so difficult about this right? Wrong! Its damned difficult ok?! Let me break it down for ye who have little faith...

1. Guy (G) has to find a person of interest (I initially wanted to say "target" but I thought long and hard against it 'cos I'd get bashed!! hahaha) that he has attracted him. (lets call this person F)

2. he has to make the first move and ask F for her contact number / contact details. And if he were rejected the first time round. He now has to rethink the situation. Go back to 1. above OR stick with this one and persist doggedly (literally like one... panting away begging for scraps).

3. Now lets say G has been lucky and manages to get the F's contact details, he now has to pluck up the courage to make the call to her to initiate first (or rather 2nd after the contact details) contact to see level of interest.

4.Having made first contact, it is now time to proceed to first "date" [I've used the "" because its not really a date but more of a feeling each other out kinda dinner date].

5. Now crucially at this 1st "date" everything falls into the first 15 minutes of the "date". It is at this point where the G or F will know if he/she wants to continue with another date. This I believe is called the "Lemon Law" ala the Neil Patrick Harris in How I met Your Mother! or a deriative of it.

6.Having wormed your way into the 2nd date... its now a more of a getting to know you more in detail. Now bear in mind that this second date continues for a while and stretches to a number of dates BUT its still considered 2nd date. :)

7. This is the crucial part in the "relationship". This is where a thin line appears in that you may fall on either side. The "I love you" section OR the "I love you...as a brother / friend /whatchamacallit section" If you were to fall into the latter then, please proceed back to No. 1 above and repeat steps 1. thru 7 again and this time PRAY harder.

8.Now that you are upgraded from G to BF, you now move to the 2nd phase of things. You now have upgraded yourself to PH, you may not know it but unfortunately its there... [PH = Potential Husband]. If you were to fail to meet up to this PH potential or if you cock up some where its bye bye PH and of course byebye BF and therefore also byebye G.

See... easy peasy rite? :P
Is this what we all think about? heh heh

9. Now that you have somehow wormed yourself into the good books and everything is hunky dory... you now face another dilemma... yes boys and girls... the big M - Marriage! How do you go about doing it?

10. First and foremost you gotta gauge whether the girl wants to marry you or not lar... easy rite?! NOT! You think its easy to read women and their moods? think agai
n my friend! Ok lets say you read her rite- lucky bugger you... What other problems are there rite? Er... got... its called buying the engagement ring. Remember that this is different from the Wedding ring! Why? I dunno... some jeweller decided to spread the rumour that the engagement and the wedding ring MUST be different! Hello... he's a jeweller lar... of course he will say that! Baka! (that means u guys ok?!)

11. What ring? Whats the ring finger size? What carat do u wanna get? Should you even get a diamond as an engagement ring? or just a band? Will she like it? CAN U AFFORD IT!? (unfortunately cannot also must buy!... sigh...).

12. Now next problem... PROPOSING.. where and when? how do you see if its the "right" moment? I do not know as well... but I guess you have to "feel" the moment gwa?! How elaborate a proposal must you make? pull out all stops? Spend wild copious amounts of cash on the nite itself? Go for a romantic holiday and propose? HOW? Dunno... ??

13. Now somehow you managed to propose and she has accepted... its now WEDDING RING problem now... how much etc... (see PAragraph 11 above and repeat steps... BUT this time MUST be diamond... only difference the problem you have now is HOW bloody big should the ring be!). Ah well... you think its over? Think again!

14. Wedding dinner - need I say more? Who to invite? Where do you wanna have it? Who's gonna pay for it? (who else -you lar sucker!) :P Can you recoup from the ang pows? should you have a joint one OR 2 different dinners for each side? Photos? Photographers? Liquor? and much much more...

15. So wedding over... setlled lar rite!? WRONG! Honeymoon mana mau pergi? $$$$ :P

16. After honeymoon... house!

ANyhow I rest my case...

If you realised.. my writings getting less cos my fingers tired... brain also tired! On a happy note.. GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!! MOSCOW here we COME!!! and the RED DEVILS MArch on!!!

08 April 2008

I have no money!!

Now I have heard this phrase from so many people... BUT I can separate them into 2 categories. Women and Men! Simple enough? :) It ranges from, "I have no money to go out leh..." to "I wanna go shopping but I have no money!" Familiar? Yes its you I am talking about! DW and OJ! :P

I WISH it were mine...

Now Women ALWAYS tell you that they have no money... BUT what they don't really say is that their no money means... they have no money for this frivolous pursuit that u are on about i.e. good food or movie etc... BUT they ALWAYS have money for shopping or new dresses that they just HAD to have. The BCBG dress that is a must have. Fark it that it costs more than a grand! I don't have money for the damn food ok?! :P The dress is on a different account! The excuses when you confront them about it ranges from. "but.. but... but... I NEED the dress mar..." OR " but... but... but.. I NEED that shade of black shoes mar... to go with my farking expensive DRESS wor..." :) heh heh... I'm pulling your leg a bit lar... but in essence when a woman tells you she does not have money she LIES! She has a lot more in her bank somewhere but is unwilling to spend it!

Now MEN on the other hand is a whole different kettle of fish... If ever a guy tells you he has no money... BELIEVE HIM! It means he has withdrawn all he can from his account, his credit card(s) are maxed out, He has borrowed money from everywhere he can already; he has even searched the car for change and looked into old wallets for the odd chance someone (namely himself) left something behind for a rainy day! nad he has NO MORE MONEY!! Period! He's not gonna buy a new watch tomorrow, nor is he gonna buy a whatever tomorrow. He has no money for food even. He's living on maggi mee and water... until the next pay check arrives! or someone gives him money! I have known so many of my friends to be like that. I am guilty of the same as well... Hopefully those days are past! (please God let those days be something of the past which you would not want me to repeat! Thank you!)

Any comments on this? DOn't you agree? Tell me I lie! and I will show you proof!! hahhaha :P

07 April 2008

Do nice guys finish last?

I first put this topic up on my facebook where I asked this question. I think it then boiled down to the wonderful world of love...or lack thereof. I had a myriad of answers which I of course argued for the topic. In the end I concluded that in most cases they do. However in recent conversations with a friend over the MSN - this topic came up again. The friend confirmed my conclusion. That I felt was indeed a sad situation... Why lar u women so like that wan? :P

Let me just say that there were arguments against the statement and the argument centered around the fact that the women tend to go for the "wild" or "happening" guys who almost always didn't treat them very well... and they would realise it later on and change/switch to the "safer" and "dependable" nice guys. Is this true? And if thats the case then has the nice guy finished last?

Now some have said that the fact that the girl "realises" that the nice guy is the one she wants to end up with is a fact that the nice guys do not finish last. My argument is that the nice guy (NG) IS the last choice, isn't it? and hence he has finished LAST! not first not second (unless there are only 2 people running the race! :) )

Some have pointed out that I am pessimistic... This may be true but nothing has been done or said to change my mind or "un-pessimise"?? (i doubt there is such a word! but writers prerogative!) me at all...

In fact, from what I have seen and gathered it has reinforced my believes as well as strengthened my argument! ah well... woe is the nice guy! how they "suffer the slings and arrows of this outrageous fortune, and by opposing... end them" ~ Shakespeare in Hamlet. (If my memory serves me right).

Ah well... there is nothing much we can do about it isn't it? NG will always end up with the short end of the stick no matter what they do because they are too nice for their own good. They are always there when u need them. Always a shoulder to cry on. Always listens to your rants and raves. Always offers good advice. BUT Always never on the radar for the girl! with caveat of course... until they finished with the bad boys then they will look for the NG. SO I guess thats the only hope the NGs have!

Do you agree or not? Don't just argue for the sake of arguing. Really ask yourself this question ladies... I'm sure you always have that one guy friend who is the best kinda guy who has everything u wish u had in a guy BUT u will never consider as bf potential. Why eh?

03 April 2008


I just found out a friend's brother was found burnt to death in his car. I don't know details as yet. He (the deceased) was not someone I knew well... more of a hi and bye kind of guy. But I was shocked to hear of it! R... my condolences to you and your family... may your brother's soul rest in peace.

This sort of brings me back to last weekend when we went for ching meng. Every year we do it, i am fine from my grandpa's grave to my grandma's grave even to my aunt's grave but the only place I go and it always gets to me is when we visit my cousin's grave. I have always felt that he was taken away from us in the prime of his life...

He was 33 years old then back in 1995. He was a Major in the Royal Malaysian Air Force. He was a Squadron leader. He just got married 2 years prior to his demise. He was one of two pilots who managed to beat the US Navy pilots in the war games. Imagine the F5e's beating the super high tech F14s! He was also supposed to lead the new (then) F/A 18 Hornets that the RMAF bought. That was how good he was as a pilot. I miss all the stories and his laughter.

How did he die? He was training a junior pilot on night landing procedures. Told the junior pilot to land first and no one saw him again... All they could find was some body parts. The only way we could identify him was through a watch we gave him for his birthday with an inscription on the back. No one really knows why but eyewitness reports that the jet engine in his jet just cut off. He was probably too low down to eject. Knowing him, he probably tried to save the jet!

I miss him...

Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life. - Bertolt Brecht (1898 - 1956), The Mother, 1932

Live life to the fullest for you never know when your time may come...

Rest in Peace Major Lai Yit Fuen aka Ah Fuen kor kor... we have always been proud of you and will always be!

02 April 2008

Khalwat laws for non muslims? Diu lor!

Did you hear? 2 groups have called for the implementation of khalwat laws on non muslims. They say that "to be fair" the non muslim partners of muslims caught for khalwat should be charged in a civil court. WHAT??? UTTER NONSENSE!!

Can you believe the shit coming out of these fellows mouths? Don't they know that khalwat is a crime ONLY in Islamic law! If I am not of the faith then why should I be subject to the laws? Its akin to saying that if you go to India where a majority of the people there are Hindus and you eat beef you should charged in court as well? Now do you see how nonsensical that sounds?

These fellows have to get a life! Do they wake up in the morning and sit on their toilet bowl and go "hmm... who should I target today... Lets go F**K some chinaman and indian fellas life up!" yeah... lets do that! gets up, wipe his ass (or maybe not) cos the shit is coming out of his mouth! and writes a proposal to amend laws?

Diu lei lar! Whole family dead lar you! Hit your old lung!

for more info on this see:-


sigh... back to square one again. The Federal Constitution provides for us to practice any religion we like and nowhere is it stated that we are an Islamic country, we are a country where Islam is the main religion. BIG difference! Multi racial and multi cultural! So don't impose your laws on me! I don't subscribe to them!!! So leave ME ALONE!!!!

Do all women think they are fat?

I'm sure you guys have heard this line before, "I'm fat already... so I don't wanna eat anymore!" OR "I'm getting so fat already!" - the problem is that this usually comes from the skinniest and svelte looking women out there. Are they just trying to rub it in or something? Or do they REALLY think that they are fat!?

I have to say though the term "fat" is a relative term. I have always said.. hey if u think you are fat... stand next to me and you will look so much slimmer! (Maybe this is a ploy by me to get hot looking women to stand next to me? hahaha... I dunno... never really thought about it... doesn't really work anyway!)

I have never really met a girl who doesn't think she is fat. Why lar? If you are too skinny... nothing to hold leh... If I wanted to hold a stick... I'll get a broom. At least then, mum will be happy when I sweep the floor! :P

Seriously girls, you are NOT fat! Er... and if you really are... you are NOT THAT fat lar... hahaha. Self esteem 101 class! :P Is this how skinny you really wanna be?

I think this is how you see yourself! don't you think so?

Anyhow, I think somewhere in between is just right! As long as you are comfortable with yourself and how you look... oklar! :P

Oh and please do stand next to me more often! I'm sure it will enhance your "skinny-ness". Heck to really make sure... you can sit on my lap! hahahhaaha... offer is always open. Apply here!

Have a nice day ladies!
Go eat your lunch/dinner now!

A Deranged Bunny is addictive!

UPDATED! ~ found new pic of a deranged bunny!! :P
Crazee Deranged looking bunny!! haha~~

Now what does that mean? I don't really know... I was challenged by Bunny to write a blog about this and the winner... well initially was set to marry her or rather she would marry him. But almost as soon as she said it she changed her mind to say that she would only buy dinner! So rising up to the challenge is I, DragonKenLai the conqueror of er... let me get back to you on that!

How does a deranged bunny addictive? Well... you start by taking one bunny. Any kind would do. Now add in a little insanity and a little craziness and now you have the deranged part down pat! The most crucial part of this concoction is the addictive part. You have to find something which would make it addictive. For this you could always try the game you play with babies where you hide your face and then show it and go "chak!" ( I know you all remember it!) So there you have it! A deranged bunny which is addictive!!

So go forth my friends and "Chak!" your other friends.

Oh btw, Bunny... you owe me dinner! :P

The pic i found on the net just by typing deranged bunny. I believe its copyrighted to a Tamara _
K of dreamstime.com.

01 April 2008

Is this Right? Is it Wrong?

I was speaking to a friend DW the other day and the conversation of the things guys do to attract or rather to woo (I have always found this word to be strange but what the heck do I know rite?) the opposite sex.

There are some who talk a lot of cock about themselves and how great they are... There are also some who talk about how rich and powerful they are... There are even some who lie about who they are!

Now the pertinent question that first springs to our minds would be "Is this right?" in the sense that should we as guys be doing such things? I believe that the question should be "Is this wrong?". That would be a better question! Don't you think so?

Now... we have always been taught to put our best foot forward. Show your best side! hide your worst side. So shouldn't or wouldn't that sorta imply that if you were great, rich AND powerful you should tell the world about it!? Especially the opposite sex sitting in front of you?

I don't know.. to me I think its wrong... well not exactly wrong but more like un-classy or no class ( I think the correct word would be crass) WTF! My English has really gone to the dogs! Its the stupid speak in Bahasa Malaysia in courts that has made me so... Not my fault!! really wan...
Having said that... I can still forgive someone who is ACTUALLY rich, powerful and great telling me that they are (or rather telling the opposite sex). It would be crass BUT it would still be the truth!

Now, moving on to the lying sonofabitch! If you are not, you are NOT! don't make up stories about it rite?! Its not hard to find out things if one really wants to... trust me.. with the power of the internet and the "chi cha-ness" of people... the truth is bound to surface! And once that does, there is no turning back! Nothing you can say can undo that mistake! You won't be able to "tau" what has been said. Its like a rat being caught in a cage. No way out. Just wait for death! (especially if the one metering out the "death" penalty is a woman! "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" ~ Shakespeare said it best! And I hold it to be true. I have seen the murderous eyes, the death grip and the psycho look! ( yes its you... :P you know who you are!)

Do I blame her? No I don't... I can understand it... Lying to get a chick to be with you cannot work! Unless you are looking for a one night stand with a stranger! How could you do that to a friend of umpteenth years? Its first of all not right and definitely its not on! But I guess its not my place to say anything. People do what they want if they feel that it is right for them and unfortunately or fortunately you have to live with the consequences of such actions. You my friend have become the epitome of a dead rat! or rather a trapped one with no way out!

My first blog post is dedicated to my sis Jen who I never knew had a blog for so long until the other day! And of course you the crazed, psycho woman with the death grip and looks that kill! (yes its you! hahahah~ no offence ok?!) and of course Bunny! Chak!