24 April 2008

The Dating Game... and its idiosyncracies!


updates are in green

I have been thinking about this topic for a while now and was wondering if what I thought was true or just my own perception of things...

The premise for this topic is of course the dating game... Game you say? Well.. Yes it is my dear Watson (ala Sherlock Holmes :) )

I was telling anyone who would listen (not that many really... heh heh) that the guys are on the short end of the stick when it comes to the dating game. Why you say? Well... the answer is yet again so simple (in my small fickle mind anyway). Its because the guy has to do the "chasing" or in more romantic/lovey dovey way of saying it... the guy has to "woo" the girl.

So what is so difficult about this right? Wrong! Its damned difficult ok?! Let me break it down for ye who have little faith...

1. Guy (G) has to find a person of interest (I initially wanted to say "target" but I thought long and hard against it 'cos I'd get bashed!! hahaha) that he has attracted him. (lets call this person F)

2. he has to make the first move and ask F for her contact number / contact details. And if he were rejected the first time round. He now has to rethink the situation. Go back to 1. above OR stick with this one and persist doggedly (literally like one... panting away begging for scraps).

3. Now lets say G has been lucky and manages to get the F's contact details, he now has to pluck up the courage to make the call to her to initiate first (or rather 2nd after the contact details) contact to see level of interest.

4.Having made first contact, it is now time to proceed to first "date" [I've used the "" because its not really a date but more of a feeling each other out kinda dinner date].

5. Now crucially at this 1st "date" everything falls into the first 15 minutes of the "date". It is at this point where the G or F will know if he/she wants to continue with another date. This I believe is called the "Lemon Law" ala the Neil Patrick Harris in How I met Your Mother! or a deriative of it.

6.Having wormed your way into the 2nd date... its now a more of a getting to know you more in detail. Now bear in mind that this second date continues for a while and stretches to a number of dates BUT its still considered 2nd date. :)

7. This is the crucial part in the "relationship". This is where a thin line appears in that you may fall on either side. The "I love you" section OR the "I love you...as a brother / friend /whatchamacallit section" If you were to fall into the latter then, please proceed back to No. 1 above and repeat steps 1. thru 7 again and this time PRAY harder.

8.Now that you are upgraded from G to BF, you now move to the 2nd phase of things. You now have upgraded yourself to PH, you may not know it but unfortunately its there... [PH = Potential Husband]. If you were to fail to meet up to this PH potential or if you cock up some where its bye bye PH and of course byebye BF and therefore also byebye G.

See... easy peasy rite? :P
Is this what we all think about? heh heh

9. Now that you have somehow wormed yourself into the good books and everything is hunky dory... you now face another dilemma... yes boys and girls... the big M - Marriage! How do you go about doing it?

10. First and foremost you gotta gauge whether the girl wants to marry you or not lar... easy rite?! NOT! You think its easy to read women and their moods? think agai
n my friend! Ok lets say you read her rite- lucky bugger you... What other problems are there rite? Er... got... its called buying the engagement ring. Remember that this is different from the Wedding ring! Why? I dunno... some jeweller decided to spread the rumour that the engagement and the wedding ring MUST be different! Hello... he's a jeweller lar... of course he will say that! Baka! (that means u guys ok?!)

11. What ring? Whats the ring finger size? What carat do u wanna get? Should you even get a diamond as an engagement ring? or just a band? Will she like it? CAN U AFFORD IT!? (unfortunately cannot also must buy!... sigh...).

12. Now next problem... PROPOSING.. where and when? how do you see if its the "right" moment? I do not know as well... but I guess you have to "feel" the moment gwa?! How elaborate a proposal must you make? pull out all stops? Spend wild copious amounts of cash on the nite itself? Go for a romantic holiday and propose? HOW? Dunno... ??

13. Now somehow you managed to propose and she has accepted... its now WEDDING RING problem now... how much etc... (see PAragraph 11 above and repeat steps... BUT this time MUST be diamond... only difference the problem you have now is HOW bloody big should the ring be!). Ah well... you think its over? Think again!

14. Wedding dinner - need I say more? Who to invite? Where do you wanna have it? Who's gonna pay for it? (who else -you lar sucker!) :P Can you recoup from the ang pows? should you have a joint one OR 2 different dinners for each side? Photos? Photographers? Liquor? and much much more...

15. So wedding over... setlled lar rite!? WRONG! Honeymoon mana mau pergi? $$$$ :P

16. After honeymoon... house!

ANyhow I rest my case...

If you realised.. my writings getting less cos my fingers tired... brain also tired! On a happy note.. GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!! MOSCOW here we COME!!! and the RED DEVILS MArch on!!!

08 April 2008

I have no money!!

Now I have heard this phrase from so many people... BUT I can separate them into 2 categories. Women and Men! Simple enough? :) It ranges from, "I have no money to go out leh..." to "I wanna go shopping but I have no money!" Familiar? Yes its you I am talking about! DW and OJ! :P

I WISH it were mine...

Now Women ALWAYS tell you that they have no money... BUT what they don't really say is that their no money means... they have no money for this frivolous pursuit that u are on about i.e. good food or movie etc... BUT they ALWAYS have money for shopping or new dresses that they just HAD to have. The BCBG dress that is a must have. Fark it that it costs more than a grand! I don't have money for the damn food ok?! :P The dress is on a different account! The excuses when you confront them about it ranges from. "but.. but... but... I NEED the dress mar..." OR " but... but... but.. I NEED that shade of black shoes mar... to go with my farking expensive DRESS wor..." :) heh heh... I'm pulling your leg a bit lar... but in essence when a woman tells you she does not have money she LIES! She has a lot more in her bank somewhere but is unwilling to spend it!

Now MEN on the other hand is a whole different kettle of fish... If ever a guy tells you he has no money... BELIEVE HIM! It means he has withdrawn all he can from his account, his credit card(s) are maxed out, He has borrowed money from everywhere he can already; he has even searched the car for change and looked into old wallets for the odd chance someone (namely himself) left something behind for a rainy day! nad he has NO MORE MONEY!! Period! He's not gonna buy a new watch tomorrow, nor is he gonna buy a whatever tomorrow. He has no money for food even. He's living on maggi mee and water... until the next pay check arrives! or someone gives him money! I have known so many of my friends to be like that. I am guilty of the same as well... Hopefully those days are past! (please God let those days be something of the past which you would not want me to repeat! Thank you!)

Any comments on this? DOn't you agree? Tell me I lie! and I will show you proof!! hahhaha :P

07 April 2008

Do nice guys finish last?

I first put this topic up on my facebook where I asked this question. I think it then boiled down to the wonderful world of love...or lack thereof. I had a myriad of answers which I of course argued for the topic. In the end I concluded that in most cases they do. However in recent conversations with a friend over the MSN - this topic came up again. The friend confirmed my conclusion. That I felt was indeed a sad situation... Why lar u women so like that wan? :P

Let me just say that there were arguments against the statement and the argument centered around the fact that the women tend to go for the "wild" or "happening" guys who almost always didn't treat them very well... and they would realise it later on and change/switch to the "safer" and "dependable" nice guys. Is this true? And if thats the case then has the nice guy finished last?

Now some have said that the fact that the girl "realises" that the nice guy is the one she wants to end up with is a fact that the nice guys do not finish last. My argument is that the nice guy (NG) IS the last choice, isn't it? and hence he has finished LAST! not first not second (unless there are only 2 people running the race! :) )

Some have pointed out that I am pessimistic... This may be true but nothing has been done or said to change my mind or "un-pessimise"?? (i doubt there is such a word! but writers prerogative!) me at all...

In fact, from what I have seen and gathered it has reinforced my believes as well as strengthened my argument! ah well... woe is the nice guy! how they "suffer the slings and arrows of this outrageous fortune, and by opposing... end them" ~ Shakespeare in Hamlet. (If my memory serves me right).

Ah well... there is nothing much we can do about it isn't it? NG will always end up with the short end of the stick no matter what they do because they are too nice for their own good. They are always there when u need them. Always a shoulder to cry on. Always listens to your rants and raves. Always offers good advice. BUT Always never on the radar for the girl! with caveat of course... until they finished with the bad boys then they will look for the NG. SO I guess thats the only hope the NGs have!

Do you agree or not? Don't just argue for the sake of arguing. Really ask yourself this question ladies... I'm sure you always have that one guy friend who is the best kinda guy who has everything u wish u had in a guy BUT u will never consider as bf potential. Why eh?

03 April 2008


I just found out a friend's brother was found burnt to death in his car. I don't know details as yet. He (the deceased) was not someone I knew well... more of a hi and bye kind of guy. But I was shocked to hear of it! R... my condolences to you and your family... may your brother's soul rest in peace.

This sort of brings me back to last weekend when we went for ching meng. Every year we do it, i am fine from my grandpa's grave to my grandma's grave even to my aunt's grave but the only place I go and it always gets to me is when we visit my cousin's grave. I have always felt that he was taken away from us in the prime of his life...

He was 33 years old then back in 1995. He was a Major in the Royal Malaysian Air Force. He was a Squadron leader. He just got married 2 years prior to his demise. He was one of two pilots who managed to beat the US Navy pilots in the war games. Imagine the F5e's beating the super high tech F14s! He was also supposed to lead the new (then) F/A 18 Hornets that the RMAF bought. That was how good he was as a pilot. I miss all the stories and his laughter.

How did he die? He was training a junior pilot on night landing procedures. Told the junior pilot to land first and no one saw him again... All they could find was some body parts. The only way we could identify him was through a watch we gave him for his birthday with an inscription on the back. No one really knows why but eyewitness reports that the jet engine in his jet just cut off. He was probably too low down to eject. Knowing him, he probably tried to save the jet!

I miss him...

Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life. - Bertolt Brecht (1898 - 1956), The Mother, 1932

Live life to the fullest for you never know when your time may come...

Rest in Peace Major Lai Yit Fuen aka Ah Fuen kor kor... we have always been proud of you and will always be!

02 April 2008

Khalwat laws for non muslims? Diu lor!

Did you hear? 2 groups have called for the implementation of khalwat laws on non muslims. They say that "to be fair" the non muslim partners of muslims caught for khalwat should be charged in a civil court. WHAT??? UTTER NONSENSE!!

Can you believe the shit coming out of these fellows mouths? Don't they know that khalwat is a crime ONLY in Islamic law! If I am not of the faith then why should I be subject to the laws? Its akin to saying that if you go to India where a majority of the people there are Hindus and you eat beef you should charged in court as well? Now do you see how nonsensical that sounds?

These fellows have to get a life! Do they wake up in the morning and sit on their toilet bowl and go "hmm... who should I target today... Lets go F**K some chinaman and indian fellas life up!" yeah... lets do that! gets up, wipe his ass (or maybe not) cos the shit is coming out of his mouth! and writes a proposal to amend laws?

Diu lei lar! Whole family dead lar you! Hit your old lung!

for more info on this see:-


sigh... back to square one again. The Federal Constitution provides for us to practice any religion we like and nowhere is it stated that we are an Islamic country, we are a country where Islam is the main religion. BIG difference! Multi racial and multi cultural! So don't impose your laws on me! I don't subscribe to them!!! So leave ME ALONE!!!!

Do all women think they are fat?

I'm sure you guys have heard this line before, "I'm fat already... so I don't wanna eat anymore!" OR "I'm getting so fat already!" - the problem is that this usually comes from the skinniest and svelte looking women out there. Are they just trying to rub it in or something? Or do they REALLY think that they are fat!?

I have to say though the term "fat" is a relative term. I have always said.. hey if u think you are fat... stand next to me and you will look so much slimmer! (Maybe this is a ploy by me to get hot looking women to stand next to me? hahaha... I dunno... never really thought about it... doesn't really work anyway!)

I have never really met a girl who doesn't think she is fat. Why lar? If you are too skinny... nothing to hold leh... If I wanted to hold a stick... I'll get a broom. At least then, mum will be happy when I sweep the floor! :P

Seriously girls, you are NOT fat! Er... and if you really are... you are NOT THAT fat lar... hahaha. Self esteem 101 class! :P Is this how skinny you really wanna be?

I think this is how you see yourself! don't you think so?

Anyhow, I think somewhere in between is just right! As long as you are comfortable with yourself and how you look... oklar! :P

Oh and please do stand next to me more often! I'm sure it will enhance your "skinny-ness". Heck to really make sure... you can sit on my lap! hahahhaaha... offer is always open. Apply here!

Have a nice day ladies!
Go eat your lunch/dinner now!

A Deranged Bunny is addictive!

UPDATED! ~ found new pic of a deranged bunny!! :P
Crazee Deranged looking bunny!! haha~~

Now what does that mean? I don't really know... I was challenged by Bunny to write a blog about this and the winner... well initially was set to marry her or rather she would marry him. But almost as soon as she said it she changed her mind to say that she would only buy dinner! So rising up to the challenge is I, DragonKenLai the conqueror of er... let me get back to you on that!

How does a deranged bunny addictive? Well... you start by taking one bunny. Any kind would do. Now add in a little insanity and a little craziness and now you have the deranged part down pat! The most crucial part of this concoction is the addictive part. You have to find something which would make it addictive. For this you could always try the game you play with babies where you hide your face and then show it and go "chak!" ( I know you all remember it!) So there you have it! A deranged bunny which is addictive!!

So go forth my friends and "Chak!" your other friends.

Oh btw, Bunny... you owe me dinner! :P

The pic i found on the net just by typing deranged bunny. I believe its copyrighted to a Tamara _
K of dreamstime.com.

01 April 2008

Is this Right? Is it Wrong?

I was speaking to a friend DW the other day and the conversation of the things guys do to attract or rather to woo (I have always found this word to be strange but what the heck do I know rite?) the opposite sex.

There are some who talk a lot of cock about themselves and how great they are... There are also some who talk about how rich and powerful they are... There are even some who lie about who they are!

Now the pertinent question that first springs to our minds would be "Is this right?" in the sense that should we as guys be doing such things? I believe that the question should be "Is this wrong?". That would be a better question! Don't you think so?

Now... we have always been taught to put our best foot forward. Show your best side! hide your worst side. So shouldn't or wouldn't that sorta imply that if you were great, rich AND powerful you should tell the world about it!? Especially the opposite sex sitting in front of you?

I don't know.. to me I think its wrong... well not exactly wrong but more like un-classy or no class ( I think the correct word would be crass) WTF! My English has really gone to the dogs! Its the stupid speak in Bahasa Malaysia in courts that has made me so... Not my fault!! really wan...
Having said that... I can still forgive someone who is ACTUALLY rich, powerful and great telling me that they are (or rather telling the opposite sex). It would be crass BUT it would still be the truth!

Now, moving on to the lying sonofabitch! If you are not, you are NOT! don't make up stories about it rite?! Its not hard to find out things if one really wants to... trust me.. with the power of the internet and the "chi cha-ness" of people... the truth is bound to surface! And once that does, there is no turning back! Nothing you can say can undo that mistake! You won't be able to "tau" what has been said. Its like a rat being caught in a cage. No way out. Just wait for death! (especially if the one metering out the "death" penalty is a woman! "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" ~ Shakespeare said it best! And I hold it to be true. I have seen the murderous eyes, the death grip and the psycho look! ( yes its you... :P you know who you are!)

Do I blame her? No I don't... I can understand it... Lying to get a chick to be with you cannot work! Unless you are looking for a one night stand with a stranger! How could you do that to a friend of umpteenth years? Its first of all not right and definitely its not on! But I guess its not my place to say anything. People do what they want if they feel that it is right for them and unfortunately or fortunately you have to live with the consequences of such actions. You my friend have become the epitome of a dead rat! or rather a trapped one with no way out!

My first blog post is dedicated to my sis Jen who I never knew had a blog for so long until the other day! And of course you the crazed, psycho woman with the death grip and looks that kill! (yes its you! hahahah~ no offence ok?!) and of course Bunny! Chak!