updates are in green
I have been thinking about this topic for a while now and was wondering if what I thought was true or just my own perception of things...
The premise for this topic is of course the dating game... Game you say? Well.. Yes it is my dear Watson (ala Sherlock Holmes :) )
I was telling anyone who would listen (not that many really... heh heh) that the guys are on the short end of the stick when it comes to the dating game. Why you say? Well... the answer is yet again so simple (in my small fickle mind anyway). Its because the guy has to do the "chasing" or in more romantic/lovey dovey way of saying it... the guy has to "woo" the girl.
So what is so difficult about this right? Wrong! Its damned difficult ok?! Let me break it down for ye who have little faith...
1. Guy (G) has to find a person of interest (I initially wanted to say "target" but I thought long and hard against it 'cos I'd get bashed!! hahaha) that he has attracted him. (lets call this person F)
2. he has to make the first move and ask F for her contact number / contact details. And if he were rejected the first time round. He now has to rethink the situation. Go back to 1. above OR stick with this one and persist doggedly (literally like one... panting away begging for scraps).
3. Now lets say G has been lucky and manages to get the F's contact details, he now has to pluck up the courage to make the call to her to initiate first (or rather 2nd after the contact details) contact to see level of interest.
4.Having made first contact, it is now time to proceed to first "date" [I've used the "" because its not really a date but more of a feeling each other out kinda dinner date].
5. Now crucially at this 1st "date" everything falls into the first 15 minutes of the "date". It is at this point where the G or F will know if he/she wants to continue with another date. This I believe is called the "Lemon Law" ala the Neil Patrick Harris in How I met Your Mother! or a deriative of it.
6.Having wormed your way into the 2nd date... its now a more of a getting to know you more in detail. Now bear in mind that this second date continues for a while and stretches to a number of dates BUT its still considered 2nd date. :)
7. This is the crucial part in the "relationship". This is where a thin line appears in that you may fall on either side. The "I love you" section OR the "I love you...as a brother / friend /whatchamacallit section" If you were to fall into the latter then, please proceed back to No. 1 above and repeat steps 1. thru 7 again and this time PRAY harder.
8.Now that you are upgraded from G to BF, you now move to the 2nd phase of things. You now have upgraded yourself to PH, you may not know it but unfortunately its there... [PH = Potential Husband]. If you were to fail to meet up to this PH potential or if you cock up some where its bye bye PH and of course byebye BF and therefore also byebye G.
See... easy peasy rite? :P
Is this what we all think about? heh heh9. Now that you have somehow wormed yourself into the good books and everything is hunky dory... you now face another dilemma... yes boys and girls... the big M - Marriage! How do you go about doing it?
10. First and foremost you gotta gauge whether the girl wants to marry you or not lar... easy rite?! NOT! You think its easy to read women and their moods? think again my friend! Ok lets say you read her rite- lucky bugger you... What other problems are there rite? Er... got... its called buying the engagement ring. Remember that this is different from the Wedding ring! Why? I dunno... some jeweller decided to spread the rumour that the engagement and the wedding ring MUST be different! Hello... he's a jeweller lar... of course he will say that! Baka! (that means u guys ok?!)
11. What ring? Whats the ring finger size? What carat do u wanna get? Should you even get a diamond as an engagement ring? or just a band? Will she like it? CAN U AFFORD IT!? (unfortunately cannot also must buy!... sigh...).
12. Now next problem... PROPOSING.. where and when? how do you see if its the "right" moment? I do not know as well... but I guess you have to "feel" the moment gwa?! How elaborate a proposal must you make? pull out all stops? Spend wild copious amounts of cash on the nite itself? Go for a romantic holiday and propose? HOW? Dunno... ??
13. Now somehow you managed to propose and she has accepted... its now WEDDING RING problem now... how much etc... (see PAragraph 11 above and repeat steps... BUT this time MUST be diamond... only difference the problem you have now is HOW bloody big should the ring be!). Ah well... you think its over? Think again!
14. Wedding dinner - need I say more? Who to invite? Where do you wanna have it? Who's gonna pay for it? (who else -you lar sucker!) :P Can you recoup from the ang pows? should you have a joint one OR 2 different dinners for each side? Photos? Photographers? Liquor? and much much more...
15. So wedding over... setlled lar rite!? WRONG! Honeymoon mana mau pergi? $$$$ :P
16. After honeymoon... house!
ANyhow I rest my case...
If you realised.. my writings getting less cos my fingers tired... brain also tired! On a happy note.. GLORY GLORY MAN UNITED!!!! MOSCOW here we COME!!! and the RED DEVILS MArch on!!!
3 comments:
I'm not sure whether i agree with u ken, all my life, i feel like im the one who did the chasing and the reason i dont have any love interest right now is because i'm so tired of chasing after guys who end up choosing someone else.
perhaps they too chase me but because i like him more, i felt that whatever he did were never enough.
I dont know.
I would however, like to know how it feels to be wooed.
I would like to be showered with gifts, flowers, notes, wine and dine etc. dont have to be expensive but little things to show that he likes me, thinking about me,misses me and cant wait to see me.
If I did that to a guy, he become perasan, take me for granted, put me as standby while he gallantly flirts around with other girls of his choice.
there is this saying, perempuan bukan memilih tetapi dipilih.
a girl can woo a guy but in the end, it is he who choose. and all the efforts by the girl to win his heart jadi wasted.
If I could make the first move, i would have been married by now.
and what of the girls who remain wall flowers (sorry ladies - for illustration purposes only) and who never get asked for their number? at least for u gentlemen, it's a matter of starting over, and if you're lucky, the chemistry works, despite numerous tries...
the poor little wallflower gets no chance, but spends her time pining, waiting....
and if you're suggesting that SHE makes the first move, pls see ryn's comment above (which i agree with wholehearedly).
it's not easy either way dragonkenlai...
Ken Ken my man
Deep thoughts u have on the dating game. Why think so much?
Here's my 3 sen opinion.
It's a lot simpler than u think actually.
Invoke the Law of Attraction. Attract whoever/whatever u want. Think about her constantly. Visualise her, feel her in your mind (not physically ah...not yet...for now) hehe... Be grateful for the wonderful relationship that u will soon be involved in...
Try it man....
And let us know of your experience :D
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